pics

The girl in the mirror

The girl in the mirror
She haunts me
Hurts me
Laughs at me
Kills me.
The girl in the mirror
Shes numb
Dull
Full on pain
hungry.
The girl in the mirror
Shes hurting
but no one knows
because shes just...
the girl in the mirror.

Beautiful

I was so unique
Now I feel skin deep
I count on the make-up to cover it all
Crying myself to sleep cause I cannot keep their attention
I thought I could be strong
But it's killing me

Does someone hear my cry?
I'm dying for new life

I want to be beautiful
Make you stand in awe
Look inside my heart,
and be amazed
I want to hear you say
Who I am is quite enough
Just want to be worthy of love
And beautiful 

Sometimes I wish I was someone other than me
Fighting to make the mirror happy
Trying to find whatever is missing
Won't you help me back to glory

I want to be beautiful
Make you stand in awe
Look inside my heart,
and be amazed
I want to hear you say
Who I am is quite enough
Just want to be worthy of love
And beautiful 

You make me beautiful
You make me stand in awe
You step inside my heart, and I am amazed
I love to hear You say
Who I am is quite enough
You make me worthy of love and beautiful

Beautiful-Bethany Dillon

How to deal with dumb comments

There was a comment that was made the other day in phy ed. class.  A immature boy was talking to my friend, who also has an eating disorder.  She made the comment about herself being fat.  The boy said, "oh yeah, your fat *sarcasm*."  He later told me that he said that because she used to be anorexic.  She was skin and bones.  I got instantly sad.  He didn't mean to make me sad.  I was just sad because I was never skin and bones.  If someone looked at me they couldn't tell I wasn't eating.  I was just tall and thin.  Ed decided to creep into my mind then and tell me, you can still be skin and bones, just don't eat and eventually, after the bloating stage and the hunger stage, you WILL be that skinny.
Listen readers,
If I almost died and I WASN'T skin and bones, what would happen if  I WAS?
Ed. is. evil.
you are NOT your ed.
you are wonderfully and beautifully made by God.  God makes NO mistakes.  He has a plan for you.  Trust in Him and things will fall into place. 

School

Getting up at 6:00 am to cath your bus
Its your first day of kindergarten!
"Excuse me, teacher.  I cant figure out how to write my 'g'"
Your in 1st grade
"Now everyone get your cursive books out."
halfway through 3rd
Good job! you passed elementary school!
on to 5th
then 6, 7, 8 and you doing just great
but when the cliques start to form and the grades start to drop.
Its not so great after all.
trying to figure out who you are and where your headed isn't as easy as trying to figure out a lower case 'g'
Its more complicated than that.
Its highschool.
In high school teachers aren't as nurturing as they used to be.
Its cold, and lonely.
Its when all your friends go different ways and your just stuck in the middle.
The bell rings at 3:30 and the rush of kids flood the hallway
And your in a mix of 3,000 kids but you feel more lonely than ever.
You go through the motions. 
Get up, go to school, homework, repeat.
Its not actually living-its just..school.
 

If life was easy...

If life was easy, what would we have to work for?
If like was good, and we didn't have the bad times, the good times wouldn't be good, they would be normal
Fight through the bad, embrace the good, rejoice the new and cherish the old.
If was was easy it wouldn't be..life.

What are you saying?