Questions?

Questions anyone?

If you have a question, comment it and I will definitely ask my therapist/acupuncturist/support and treatment team!

:)

Do what you love, and Love what you do

Dance.  I love dance and I dance because its what I love.  Find something you love to do, and do it.
When I dance, I feel free and strong and powerful <3
Think about something you love to do, and how it makes you feel.  Seek out how to do that thing and go for it!

Dance brings up a good point.  Most people would think that dance would not be a good thing for someone with an eating disorder to do.  I take a solo class in which I can wear whatever I want that I can dance in.  Make sure that this one thing you love to do is healthy for you and is in a positive manner.

How we talk to little girls

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/lisa-bloom/how-to-talk-to-little-gir_b_882510.html?ref=fb&src=sp

This is a very interesting article about how our culture talks to little kids.
"Your so cute! Look at your pretty dress!"

Why don't we say
"Wow!  You look smart! Want to show me how you can read this book?"

Check it out! :)

Love yourself like a kid again!

As I was watching the parade with my cousins, two of them are 5 years old, I realized that everybody seriously needs to love like a child.  These girls were so loving and caring.  How does this relate to eating disorders?
Think of a child.  Eating when they are hungry and stopping when they are full.  Strive for that.  The child doesn't think they are fat.  And they are not afraid of getting fat by what they eat.
Just thought I'd share that :)

Friends

I am so lucky I have the friends I do.  Yesterday, I was talking to my one friend.  Actually, I was more like venting.
I know that I will never be good enough for God.  But I also know that thats where Jesus comes in.  He died and my sins were forgiven and Gods love is a free gift.  I cant even explain how that makes me feel.  I am so blessed.  I truly believe that God gave me another chance--Heres some background:
I was born with JRA.  We did not know until I was 15 months old and my leg was all swollen.  My parents took me to the ER and after a long time of waiting I was diagnosed with Arthritis.  Basically I've been in pain my whole life.  Going into 7th grade I started eating less and exercising more.  Burning 700 calories while only eating 30.  I was underweight but I wasn't skeletal BUT my organs were failing.  I went to the doctor and was informed that if I did any exercise..even walking, I would go into cardiac arrest and eventually die.  I was then transported to Rogers Memorial  Hospital and put on a feeding tube without even being there for an hour.  I was put on suicidal watch and discharged a month later.  5 months after I was discharged I was hospitalized twice again for bulimia.  Long story short.  I literally almost died.  But why didn't I?
God had/has great plans for my life.  Dying wasn't one of them.  So He had the power to keep me strong and alive.
Now I am growing so much in my faith and show that by everything I do.
God has plans for you--Let Him take control of your life :)

Date Night / Writing assignment #3

So...tonight I have a date with a friend from school. :)  Most people would be worried about if they look just perfect or how they act but Im gonna just have fun with it.  I put on a little makeup and have on a cute outfit but if thats all this guy likes me for I don't want that.  I want him to love my personality and like me for me.

All in all, you have another writing assignment! YAY!!! :)
Write about your perfect date.  Where would you go and who would it be with?  What would you you wear and how would you act?  Challenge yourself to really think.  And Im not saying perfection is out there Im just saying don't settle for less than you deserve ;)

Footprints in the Sand

One night I had a dream--
I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord
and across the sky flashed scenes from my life.
For each scene I noticed two sets of footprints,
one belonged to me and the other to the Lord.
When the last scene of my life flashed before me,
I looked back at the footprints in the sand.
I noticed that many times along the path of my life,
there was only one set of footprints.
I also noticed that it happened at the very lowest
and saddest times in my life.
This really bothered me and I questioned the Lord about it.
"Lord, you said that once I decided to follow you,
you would walk with me all the way,
but I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life
there is only one set of footprints.
"I don't understand why in times when I needed you most,
you should leave me."
The Lord replied, "My precious, precious child,
I love you and I would never, never leave you
during your times of trial and suffering.
"When you saw only one set of footprints,
it was then that I carried you.

25 ways to love your body

1. We are born in love with our bodies. Watch an infant sucking her fingers and toes, not worrying about body fat. Imagine being in love with your body.

2. Think of your body as a tool. Make an inventory of all the things you can do with it.

3. Notice what your body does each day. It is the instrument of your life, not an ornament for someone else’s enjoyment.

4. Create a list of people you admire who have contributed to your life, your community, or the world. Was their appearance important to their accomplishments?

5. Consider your body as a source of pleasure. Think of all the ways it can make you feel good.

6. Enjoy your body: stretch, dance, walk, sing, take a bubble bath, get a massage, get a pedicure.

7. Put signs on mirrors saying things like: I am beautiful inside and out.” 8. Affirm that your body is perfect just the way it is.

9. Walk with your head high, with pride and confidence in yourself as a person, not as a size.

10. Don’t let your size or appearance keep you from doing things you enjoy.

11. Remember that your body is not a democracy—you are the only one who gets a vote. 12. Count your blessings, not your blemishes

13. Replace the time you spend criticizing your appearance with more positive, satisfying pursuits.

14. Every year, 98 percent of our atoms are replaced. Your body is extraordinary — respect and appreciate it!15. Be the expert on your body. Challenge fashion magazines, cosmetic companies, and weight tables.

16. Let your inner beauty and individuality shone. 17. Be your body’s ally and advocate, not its enemy.

18. Every morning when you awake, thank your body for resting and rejuvenating itself so you can enjoy the day.

19. Every night when you go to sleep, thank your body for what it helped you do throughout the day.

20. Find a method of exercise that you enjoy and do moderate amounts of it regularly. Don’t do it compulsively or to lose weight—do it to feel good.

21. Think back to a time in your life when you liked and enjoyed your body. Get in touch with those feelings now.

22. Look at family photos. Find the beauty, love, and values in those bodies and faces. Hold them close to your heart.

23. Ask: If I had only one year to live, how important would my body image and appearance be?

24. Make a closet inventory. Do you wear clothes to hide your body or just to follow fashion trends in lockstep? Keep the clothes that give you feelings of pleasure, confidence, and comfort.

25. Beauty is not just skin deep. It is a reflection of your whole self. Love and enjoy the person inside.

Writing Assignment #2

Watch a T.V program and write about one of the characters.  Did this character show high or low self-esteem?  How can you tell? Give some examples of how this character's self esteem showed up in his/her personal choices and behaviors.

Example:
Kim Possible

How to Deal

How to deal with living with an eating disorder. 

1) ACCEPT the fact that this is your life.  You cant just quit at life, so you have to learn to use your coping skills and live with/through it. 

2) DONT let it stop you from doing the things you love.  Thats what Ed wants to do, destroy you as much as he can, and when you isolate yourself and don't do the things you want to do, Ed is winning.
3) BE competitive.  Not with yourself, or with the next person on who can lose the most weight etc.  But with ed.  Fight for what you want.  Do you want to live?  I would hope so.  


You cant live while stuck in an eating disorder.  You cant be free when you are stuck.  




In 1 Peter 5:7 it says "casting all your worries on him, because he cares for you."

Jesus Freak!

³ Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. ⁴ Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.
1 Peter 3:3


When I got baptized this was the main verse in my testimony.  God has helped me so much throughout my recovery.  I know that when I need something, or I'm in doubt, I can pray about it and talk to God and He will answer me.  
My baptism was magical.  I felt free.  In Chris Tomlin's song Amazing Grace (my chains are gone) it says, "my chains are gone, I've been set free, my God my savior has ransomed me.


My faith has helped me oh so much I cant even explain it.  1Peter 3:3 shows just how much God loves each and every one of you and how you ARE beautiful <3

Dont be a statistic

It is estimated that 8 million Americans have an eating disorder – seven million women and one million men.  Do you ever wonder how many of them survive? Studies show that 5-10% of anorexics die within 10 years after contracting the disease and 18-20% of anorexics will be dead after 20 years.  Think about the pros and cons of having an eating disorder...think of any pros?  Think of a million cons?  I know i did.  Think about it.  Do you want to be a statistic?


Think about a child.  They play all day and when they are hungry...they eat.   What has changed?  The media showing us how women should look?  Every commercial you see on T.V being about weight loss and how it makes you "happy."  Our self esteem is like a bucket of water.  When we are born it starts out full but as time goes on certain situations poke holes in the bucket making it lose water until there is none left.  Lets try to plug up the holes and fill our buckets back up again. When you look in the mirror, think of a child...would you say those things to a child?

To Write Love on Her Arms

Ever heard of it? To Write Love on Her Arms is a non-profit movement dedicated to presenting hope and finding help for people struggling with depression, addiction, self-injury and suicide.  TWLOHA exists to encourage, inform, inspire and also to invest directly into treatment and recovery.  Check It out!


www.twloha.com


You were created to love and be loved.  You were meant to live life in relationship with other people, to know and be known. You need to know that your story is important and that you're part of a bigger story.  You need to know that your life matters.

Writing assignment #1

Imagine that some day you will have a child. Write a letter for that child to open when he/she reaches the age you are right now. Tell the child how you feel about yourself and how those feelings have changed throughout elementry and midlle school. Tell the child the kinds of things you experienced that make you feel that way. Finally offer some advice that would help your child have good self esteem at this age and throughout life.
If I was doing this assignment I would say something like this:

dear child,
right here and now, my body image could be better but it's not terrible. It depends of the day and time whether I am super confident or just nutral. I've never had great body image. I was a chubby child so I got made fun of because of that. In middle school I was hospitalized 3 times for anorexia and bulimia. Through all of this I have found out a lot about myself. I found my faith and became a child of God. I got baptized on may 8th 2011. My advice to you is to live your life because it can be taken away so quickly. Trust God, He knows what Hes doing ;)

Looking into the mirror

How do you feel when you look into the mirror?  I know how I used to feel... ashamed, depressed, lonely...fat?  If you feel those things that shows that you have distorted body image.  Want to know why?  Because you are BEAUTIFUL!  So if you look in the mirror and don't see your beauty, your missing out.
Now, I can lecture on and on about how beautiful everybody is and how your body image is distorted etc.  but the real question is, how do we fix our distorted body image?
One way that has really helped me is associating myself with positive people.  Everybody is insecure about at least one aspect of their self but when I hang out with my friends, they like me for who I am and I feel accepted!
Second, Think about the things your body can do, not necessarily how it looks.  For example, Mine is strong.  It can bike, swim, dance, and throw.  I have to energy to play with my sibling and work at a day care.  I wouldn't of been able to do that if I wasn't eating right.
Reasons to recover:
1. Be able to smile again
2. To be honest, with yourself and others
3. Be happy! let your personality shine!
4. FREEDOM!
5. Not be consumed with counting calories
6. Have healthy relationships
7. LIVE
8. Think about it, you only have one life...enjoy it!
9. Look at the beauty beyond the mirror <3
10. Live, Laugh, Love
and many more!

At this very moment, you may be saying to yourself that you have any number of admirable qualities. You are a loyal friend, a caring person, someone who is smart, dependable, fun to be around. That's wonderful, and I'm happy for you, but let me ask you this: are you being any of those things to yourself?
Phillip C. McGraw

Inspiring Playlist

1. Who Says- Selena Gomez
2. Perfect- Pink
3. Add to the Beauty- Sara Groves
4. Its gonna be Alright- Sara Groves

More soon to come :)

First Week of Summer!

What comes to mind when you think about summer? I know what comes to mind when I think about summer. Swim suits and pools, watching the sunset on the beach with a picnic. Going camping or on a hike. How do you deal when it comes to the focus summer has on food and body image? Most times people say or think "this summer I am going to eat healthy and get fit and lose weight!" I thought that once to. That is not what I'm thinking this summer. I'm thinking about how I can grow as a person. Start new relationships with new friends. Focus on myself and my health. Mind and Body. Go for a walk, not to lose weight, but to take some time for yourself. Think about yourself this summer. Palm trees, ocean breeze, salty air, sun kissed hair. That endless summer, takes me there.

Schools out for summer!

As the school year comes to a close and finals come to a start I say so long to my freshman year of high school.  I think about all the great memories I have made this year, not to mention all the great friends.  <3  This summer is going to be great! Swimming pools and more memories to be made.  Swimming pools.  That might be a hard topic because with swimming pools comes swim suits. 

 Whenever you feel ugly, remember... I have NEVER seen a smiling face that wasn't beautiful.  I've never seen a confident person unattractive and I most definitely have not seen a person with a big heart be ugly.  Beauty comes from within.  "beauty is not in the face, beauty is a light in the heart" -Kahlil Gibran