I love you :)

cant you see
that you and me
are match mates in heaven
that we are supposed to grow old together
that we are supposed to love eachother
when you smiled at me
i could feel my heart skip a beat
i imagine out fingers fit together like a glove
thats the sign of our love
we could be everything everybody wants
you make me feel like im the only girl in the world
you make me feel special

I wanna be loved

I wanna be loved
i know God loves me
but i want somebody who puts their arms around me and tells me im beautiful
just the way i am and that everythings going to be okay
someone to make me feel special
someone to make me know that I am special
i know it sounds wrong 
but i cant help but wonder

Pamper yourself

Ways to pamper yourself:
1.  Take a nice long shower/bath
2.  Paint your nails
3.  Put makeup on
4.  Go through your closet and toss out your old clothes and buy new ones
5.  Go to a coffee shop, order a latte and read a novel
6.  Get some nice scented candles and listen to music
7.  Give yourself a facial
8.  Manicure/Pedicure
9.  Invite girlfriends over for a spa day
10. Go out to dinner with a friend

Pampering yourself is GREAT!  It makes you feel good and makes you feel accomplished...try it. :)

Change Is Okay

Im seeing a new psychiatrist today.  Although this is only my second psychiatrist I've seen, I've been through 4 therapists.
Basically what I'm saying is if you don't like your doctor...get a new one! Change is okay! Don't just settle because that will get you nowhere in real life.


It may not be changed in any way, a good given for a bad, or a bad for a good; if one beast is changed for another, the two will be holy.
Leviticus 27:10 

Beautiful isn't about how skinny you can be

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hibyAJOSW8U

I once did a dove workshop with 5 little girls.  We looked at magazines and talked about what they think beautiful is.  Beautiful isn't about how skinny you can be.

http://www.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DfULtU2NfPQA&h=ZAQCsfL4S

My Testimony

I was born into a Catholic family of 5.  I was raised going to church every sunday. My parents thought they were pressuring us to much and decided it would be best for us to find our faith on our own.  I though this was GREAT, after all, I hated going to church.  I never had a relationship with Jesus and didn't ever think I would.  The summer going into 7th grade and during 7th grade was a terrible dark period of my life.  I started to get really insecure about my body.  I new the only way I would ever get a guy was if I had lost some weight.  So,  I started a to eat less and exercise more.  By about january of my 7th grade year I was burning 700 calories while only eating 30.  I was underweight but I wasn't skeletal, so I though I was fine.  I ended up getting treatment at Rogers  Memorial Hospital that march.  There we had spirituality classes.  They were relaxing and all but I never actually new what that was all about.  I was discharged a month later.  That summer I started a new behavior.  Purging.  Everything I ate I would throw up afterwords.  I was then Hospitalized again in October, and again the next march.  Every time I went to Rogers I got more and more familiar with the spirituality class.  By the time I got discharged the last time I was thinking this Being a Christian stuff was pretty cool.   Meanwhile I started hanging out with my wonderful friends more often.  I started asking questions about what I means to be a christian.  I also started going to our school bible study Friday mornings.  Wouldn't it be cool to know you always have someone to lean on?  That they think your beautiful just the way you are?  Guess what?  I found that.  One of my favorite bible verses is 1 Peter 3:3.  It says 3 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. 4 Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.  This verse means a lot to me.  It shows that God loves me and made me in His image.  In February of 2011 I asked Jesus to forgive my sins.  I know that I am a sinner and I will never be good enough for God.  But since Jesus lived a perfect life, I am now free. In Isaiah 41:10 it says ‘Do not fear, for I am with you; do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.’  Since I have been saved I no longer worry about who is out there that will love me.  I know that God loves me just the way I am.  Im not saying once your saved your life is easy.  I still struggle.  But I know God is always on my side.


baptized on May 8th 2011 <3

Save Yourself

Lots of times, people with eating disorders fall into the cycle of wanted to be loved, so when a guy comes around that acts like he loves her, she'll do almost anything.
On tuesday, I found this really cool store, its called Christian Family Store.  There, I got my purity ring.  I already made the promise that I would save myself and not have sex until I was married, or even give away my heart, or pieces of my heart, to someone I know I shouldn't be with.  Personally, I fall into the trap of liking guys who are not Christian.  I know I NEED to be with a christian.
In 1 Corinthians 15:33 it says Do not be deceived: “Bad company ruins good morals.”
SO TRUE!
One of my friends read me her testimony.  She was giving away pieces of her heart (not her body) and she felt guilty.  She needed to save all of herself for her future husband.  So she started a journal to her future husband, who she might not even know yet.  
What an inspiration!
Remember that! :)

Ill pray for you

I would TOTALLY love for you guys to email me things to blog about of course but also things that I could pray from you about.

beyondbeautiful96@hotmail.com

:)

NBC 15 News!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IvGQtJ1OeX4&feature=youtu.be


This is a news story I was interviewed for about my eating disorder or eating disorders in general.

You can Email me also!

Email me for ANYTHING!
Questions
Support
ANYTHING

beyondbeautiful96@hotmail.com

More Songs!

1. How Much- Mandisa
2. Beautiful- Mercyme
3. Beautiful- Christina Aguilera
4. Katie - Missy Higgins
5. Does Anybody Hear her- Casting Crowns

Mean People

Everyone has someone who is mean to them in their life.  Sad but true..but it could even be your family.
You can't change them, but you CAN change how you deal with them.
Things to remember when dealing with these people:
1.  Its not about you, its about them
2. Anger feeds anger, negativity feeds negativity
3. They are a waste of energy
4. Negativity spreads

If you are in the middle of an argument remember:
1. Forgive
2. Wait it out
3. "Does it really matter if I'm right?"
4. Don't respond
5. Stop talking about it
6. Look for a lesson to learn

And Remember- DON'T let them bring you down, they are not worth it :)

Rejected

Rejected by whom you love
Makes you feel less than none
I cant believe I'm going to say
I love you more everyday
And now I see
That we can not be
Anymore than nothing